Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a thought-provoking panel discussion at the local Performing Arts Center. The intriguing title posed a question that resonated deeply with my work in coaching: “Do the Arts Make Us Better People?” The moderator, a true master of engagement, immediately set the stage for a rich conversation by highlighting the subjective nature of key terms. Just like in effective coaching, she began by prompting us to consider, “What do we even mean by ‘better’?” This simple yet profound question sparked an instant connection to my coaching practice. It reminded me of the vital importance of curiosity, a quality I often associate with what we might call a “Curious Carly” approach in coaching – a deep-seated desire to truly understand our clients’ perspectives.
Unpacking Assumptions: “Better” and “The Arts”
The moderator expertly guided the audience through a series of potential interpretations of “better.” She suggested it could encompass wisdom, competence, balance, or a myriad of other personal ideals. This immediately struck a chord. As coaches, we frequently encounter clients striving for “better” outcomes, yet our assumptions about what “better” signifies can easily diverge from their actual desires. A truly present and effective coach, much like our insightful moderator, understands the danger of assumptions and instead embraces curiosity to uncover the client’s unique definition. The question, “What do you mean by being better?” becomes a cornerstone of understanding.
She then turned her attention to “The Arts,” another term ripe for individual interpretation. My own, admittedly limited, view of “the arts” conjured images of museums, galleries, and theatrical performances. However, the moderator expanded this definition exponentially, encompassing television, online creative expressions, and a vast spectrum of human creativity. This broadened perspective was eye-opening. Within the first five minutes, the moderator had masterfully unified the understanding of over 400 attendees, ensuring everyone was on the same page for a meaningful discussion about the arts’ impact. This demonstrated the power of upfront clarification, preventing potential disconnects arising from differing assumptions – a crucial lesson for any coach aiming for impactful sessions with their clients, embodying that “curious carly” mindset of seeking clarity from the outset.
Active Listening: The “Curious Carly” Approach in Action
Masterful coaching hinges on this very principle of curiosity and clarification. It’s tempting to assume shared understanding, especially with common words, but true active listening demands more. The ICF Core Competency of Active Listening emphasizes understanding “the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression.” This isn’t about imposing our definitions; it’s about diligently uncovering the client’s unique context.
At The Mentor Coaching Group, where we mentor coaches pursuing their MCC, PCC, or ACC credentials, my colleague Karen and I consistently emphasize this “curious carly” approach. Reviewing countless coaching sessions, a key focus is how effectively the coach explores the nuances of the client’s language. Does the coach operate from assumption, or do they demonstrate genuine curiosity? It requires complete presence and attentiveness to the client’s words, coupled with the courage to ask clarifying questions – not to confirm our understanding, but to truly grasp theirs.
Unlocking Coaching Effectiveness: The Power of Inquiry
Here’s a coaching tip that can instantly elevate your effectiveness: abandon assumptions about word meanings. Embrace a “curious carly” stance and always inquire about the client’s definitions, particularly during the crucial coaching session agreement phase. Utilize and delve into their language and concepts throughout the session. This simple act of curiosity unlocks deeper understanding, strengthens the coaching alliance, and ultimately leads to more impactful and client-centered coaching. By prioritizing the client’s perspective and embracing a “curious carly” approach, we transform our coaching from assumption-based guidance to truly transformative partnership.
